Ann Coulter is a Dirty Whore

That's about it.

Other People's Kids

If you have kids, and you take your kids somewhere... I dunno, let's say a gymnasium that yours truly (y.t. makes sense now huh?) works at... WATCH THEM. As I sit here, someone's kid is annoying me with a million fucking questions and random comments.

Kid: "My mommy has speakers in her car."
YT: "That's great."

Kid: "Do you have speakers in your car?"
YT: "I don't know."

Kid: "I'm in the first grade."
YT: "Wow."

Kid: "Why is the sky blue?"
YT: "Because God hates you."

What's stopping me from reaching across the counter and strangling the kid out? Morality, for one. A sprained wrist, for another. But really, it isn't his fault. Kids are naturally curious little shit-makers. It's his dad's fault, who's too busy staring at his muscles (or lack thereof) in the giant mirrored wall. Too cheap to pay a babysitter? Then stop coming to the gym, you sorry sack of shit. You want a workout? Take your kid outside and play with him. Stop being a sorry-ass parent, like every other parent in this country, and instead of wasting your time downing creatine and lifting weights, take that hour-a-day and use it more wisely: teaching your kid not to annoy the guy behind the counter at the gym.

Ghost Hunters (and other shit naive people buy into)

If you've ever watched the Sci-Fi channel (you know you have, you D&D-playing loser!), then you've undoubtedly seen one of these two ignorance-mongering shows: 'Ghost Hunters' and 'Scare Tactics'. Now to explain why these brain-fucks should be taken with a grain of salt (or the whole fucking shaker-full, in the case of 'Scare Tactics')...

First, 'Scare Tactics'. I really don't need to say anything about this show other than it was hosted by Shannon Dougherty (note the was, thanks Sci-Fi execs). No one wants to look at this bitch, except maybe a reconstructive surgeon wanting practice with eye-leveling. Ms. Extra-chromosome gives us the set-up: some idiot has volunteered to help a friend move boxes in some strange building that is curiously lit like a movie set. Said idiot gets the shit scared out of them, usually by a midget in B-movie special effects makeup. After watching this show, one can only come to two conclusion:

• This is the most contrived show ever made
• WOW! They really got that guy! HAR! HAR!

If you came to the 2nd conclusion, bad news: you're a fucking retard. But retarded as you are, if you were the mark on the show, you still wouldn't be stupid enough to not notice the camera men walking through the room or the huge studio lights in every corner of a supposed warehouse (or in some cases, THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING DESERT); nor would you be idiotic enough to be scared by the guy in the Bigfoot costume (c'mon, didn't you see Harry and the Hendersons?). Yeah, comment about the lawsuit, but keep in mind that lawsuits aren't required to meet any certain set of legal criteria. And if the bitch who sued (over being chased by aliens, for Jeebus' sakes) actually believed what she saw, then she ought to be put down like a rabid dog.

And then there's 'Ghost Hunters'. Not a terrible show, but anyone who's ever came away from an episode of this thinking they just saw a scientific investigation would probably have bought some miracle tonic off a cart-wagon back in the day. It's entertainment, not science. FUCK, PEOPLE, GET A CLUE.

And an afterthought: If you've ever watched Laguna Beach on MTV, try this little trick that makes the show more interesting. Take shots of Clorox, and chase each shot with the ammonia brand of your choice. Enjoy!

I Fucking Hate Blogs

Seriously, blogs are a waste of space on the giant-waste-of-space known as the internet (or internets, if you're a pompous dumbass). Why have one? Fuck if I know. I'll probably never update this again, and I certainly won't be linking to it, on a widescale basis at least. Let's just say that current employment opportunities limit me to sitting idly, and browsing on dial-up internet (add both activies to the Hate List).

People who have blogs are doing one of three things:

• Bitching about how bad their life is (kill yourself)
• Bragging about how great their life is (kill yourself)
• Hating on Democrats/Republicans* (get a life, then kill yourself)

What's the fucking purpose? No one cares if your boyfriend dumped you, if you're feeling lonely, if the twinkies make you feel better... No one cares if you just bought a new Benz, unless you also want to list the address of where you park it so that I can promptly key the ever-living shit out of it... And certainly no one cares if you think Bush is a prick, or you want to sit on Bush's prick. For the love of a god-like being, stop it.

But this is my blog, and it's different. It isn't about any specific thing, and it isn't about my life. It's about all the shit that gets on my goddamned nerves. This blog isn't for you, it's for me. If you read it and enjoy it, great. If you read it and hate me and my opinions, go ahead and go hang yourself to save some stranger the future trouble of bloody murder. I will make new posts when I feel like it (i.e. when someone/something pisses me off enough), or I may never update it again. Your loss, not mine.

*The only political blog that's worth an occasional read is Rude Pundit, and there's a link in my link section.